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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826339">Of Written Wonders</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonLyra/pseuds/PoisonLyra'>PoisonLyra</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Multi, Poetry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 03:56:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,828</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24826339</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoisonLyra/pseuds/PoisonLyra</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of things I thought of, of things I wanted to say but never did, of feelings I never really could say out loud.</p><p>Some of these poems are really old, some of them have been written recently. The older ones can be a little weird, since i was still learning. I included them anyway, because they represent something i was and still carry with me.</p><p>To all who write poetry and are not satisfied with what they write: Do it anyway. Life is short and you don't owe it anything. The more you write the better you get. I belive in you.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Who Am I?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is something I've been wanting to show the world for a long time.<br/>Most of these are sad.  I was never really a happy person, but I am working on it.<br/>Love, Lyra</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I am<br/>
calm after the storm<br/>
shelter to the homeless<br/>
warmth for the broken<br/>
shoulder for tears<br/>
cook fo the hungry<br/>
sleep for the restless<br/>
balm for the hurt<br/>
story for the bruised</p><p>I am<br/>
a mother</p><p> </p><p>I am<br/>
prompts at midnight<br/>
ink-stained fingers<br/>
filled notebooks<br/>
recommendations<br/>
a thousand bookmarks<br/>
tears of frustration<br/>
death of friends and foes<br/>
happy endings</p><p>I am<br/>
a writer</p><p> </p><p>I am<br/>
laughter at odd times<br/>
old inside jokes<br/>
conspiracies at school<br/>
sharing funny videos<br/>
shoulder pats and hugs<br/>
horrible jokes at 3 a.m.<br/>
knowing preferences<br/>
making fun of crushes<br/>
half-hearted jabs</p><p>I am<br/>
a friend</p><p> </p><p>I am<br/>
hummed tunes in a kitchen<br/>
concerts in the shower<br/>
reading between the lines<br/>
moods and riffs<br/>
one in a dozen and more<br/>
straight back and smiles<br/>
loud voices and whispers<br/>
love and heartbreak and glory<br/>
childhoods and parties</p><p>I am<br/>
a musician</p><p> </p><p>I am<br/>
whatever i have to be<br/>
whatever you need me to be<br/>
but I am also</p><p>me<br/>
small<br/>
and tired<br/>
and scared<br/>
and anything but good</p><p>what will you be for me?</p><p> -stories of being a mother, a lover, a friend</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Screaming for Dreams</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sleeping should be easy</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>sitting on velvet<br/>
breath heavy<br/>
staring at the place your feet are</p><p>blood pumping<br/>
there is anger<br/>
so much of it</p><p>a desperate attempt<br/>
to stop everything that comes<br/>
every night</p><p>helpless<br/>
nothing works<br/>
the one thing that should doesn't </p><p>eyes wide<br/>
eyelids heavy<br/>
but still</p><p>conscious<br/>
<em>please</em>, you beg<br/>
<em>give me dreams</em></p><p><em>please</em>, you scream at the world<br/>
at god<br/>
<em>why would you do this</em></p><p>all you want is<br/>
sleep<br/>
and it doesn't come </p><p>and you are burning<br/>
and then<br/>
you freeze</p><p>realize<br/>
this is how it is<br/>
look up at the stars and say</p><p>
  <em>fuck you<br/>
this is my life<br/>
you can't have this</em>
</p><p>so close your eyes<br/>
pull up your blanket<br/>
and paint your dreams yourself</p><p>-stories of being a mother, a lover, a friend<br/>
(fate is bullshit)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Love Letters to the Universe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>my love for you is endless</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>you sit out there<br/>
it's warm<br/>
no cloud in sight</p><p>in your hand<br/>
your phone<br/>
open, chat open<br/>
laughter chimes with the notification sound</p><p>a giggle escapes<br/>
you shake your head fondly<br/>
and sigh</p><p>look up<br/>
the void twinkles back<br/>
seems so endless<br/>
so old</p><p>feels as if it looks at you<br/>
through you<br/>
and you dream</p><p>and dream..</p><p>a thousand words float up<br/>
like water in the sea<br/>
like a feather in the wind</p><p>you have no energy to stop them<br/>
but why would you?</p><p>bare before the mythical<br/>
wide open<br/>
your very being exposed</p><p>and you wish<br/>
and write<br/>
hundreds of then<br/>
sent to the stars</p><p>words made out of the impossible<br/>
the same stardust as your body</p><p>and you hope<br/>
it receives<br/>
the universe</p><p>your letters of love</p><p>-stories of being a mother, a lover, a friend<br/>
(the vast)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Digesting Butterflies</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>heavy is my heart, for i love too much<br/>(i hope you know that this is for you)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>when i think too much, love becomes painful<br/>
my heart feels like it's too big, sometimes</p><p>my love is so warm<br/>
and i'm burning up</p><p>love is something beautiful, i know<br/>
i felt it, i feel it</p><p>but when you feel so much<br/>
for so many<br/>
it's so hard</p><p>my heart stretches across borders<br/>
across the sea<br/>
breaching continents</p><p>my love is so far away..</p><p>let me hold them<br/>
let me kiss their weary eyes</p><p>it's so much<br/>
i want to make them smile</p><p>my imperfect rainbow<br/>
red, orange, cyan</p><p>my love<br/>
you are so far away</p><p>i can't take it</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>don't be sad, my love<br/>you feel what you feel<br/>it is not your fault</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What is Poetry?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>so many words, so little time</p><p>(this is an older one)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>poetry is rhymes<br/>
melodic words<br/>
written with chimes<br/>
elegant like birds<br/>
petty small crimes<br/>
sharp like swords<br/>
a weapon made of clouds</p><p>poetry is a confession<br/>
whispered in dark rooms<br/>
of wrondoings<br/>
that happened<br/>
that no-one should know<br/>
breathing fumes<br/>
a question<br/>
boulders so heavy<br/>
atlas weeps</p><p>poetry is heavy<br/>
a wildfire so hot<br/>
it burns everything<br/>
a hatred so strong<br/>
it sears the bones<br/>
of the writers<br/>
so quickly<br/>
and after the crescendo<br/>
the only thing thats left<br/>
is fatigue<br/>
and ashes</p><p>poetry is hollow<br/>
a place carved out<br/>
to make place for things<br/>
after the conclusion<br/>
after the end<br/>
the beginning<br/>
the in-between<br/>
before the all<br/>
to make peace<br/>
to begin again</p><p>poetry is thoughts<br/>
tiny scribbles<br/>
the start of understanding<br/>
puzzle pieces for something bigger<br/>
half finished realizations<br/>
make-believe<br/>
speculations<br/>
something that starts<br/>
and ends<br/>
in the after</p><p>poetry is stories<br/>
things gone through<br/>
things thought of<br/>
things believed in<br/>
things despised<br/>
things that start with an <em>oh</em><br/>
and end with an <em>ah</em><br/>
the question<br/>
the conclusion<br/>
nothing<br/>
everything </p><p>poetry is not child's play<br/>
though it is something for everyone</p><p>poetry is not<br/>
a girl overdramatic depression<br/>
after heartbreak</p><p>poetry is not<br/>
something forbidden<br/>
something a boy should be ashamed of</p><p>poetry is not for you to laugh at<br/>
poetry is</p><p>poetry <em>is</em></p><p>-stories of being a mother, a lover, a friend<br/>
(the art of written words)</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. If You Found Me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>questions unanswered</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>trigger warning: suicide</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>if you found me<br/>
at the bottom of the stairs<br/>
pale and unmoving<br/>
white showing underneath my hair<br/>
red flooding the stone tiles<br/>
would you cry?</p><p>if you found me<br/>
in my childhood bedroom<br/>
still, limbs heavy<br/>
floating two feet off the ground<br/>
would you call my friends? </p><p>if you found me<br/>
in my quiet bathroom<br/>
the lights not shining<br/>
the water cold and dark<br/>
would you blame yourself?</p><p>if you found me<br/>
in the lake at night<br/>
hair moving with the water<br/>
stiff and blue<br/>
would you acknowledge your faults?</p><p>if you found me<br/>
red<br/>
floating<br/>
cold<br/>
blue<br/>
<em>dead</em></p><p>would you finally realize?<br/>
would you cry and call my friends?</p><p>i was never lazy<br/>
i was never rude<br/>
i was never tired<br/>
i was never just sad</p><p>so tell me<br/>
if you found me,</p><p>what would you do?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Live Wire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>sparks on my skin, set me free</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>my skin is hot<br/>it shifts over my bones and tendons<br/>too tight, too tight<br/>it pulsates and aches</p><p>my jaw is swollen<br/>and my teeth hurt so bad<br/>i can't eat<br/>i want to rip them out</p><p>my body is heavy<br/>i ate and i'm not eating<br/>the plush on my muscles-<br/>a knife is waiting for me</p><p>my hair is getting longer<br/>its wavy and shiny<br/>the sun makes it gold<br/>i want to pull it out</p><p>my head is empty<br/>it's like a cave<br/>without echo or light<br/>fill my head with water</p><p>my head is bursting<br/>it's like a room full of kids<br/>they're wailing and it echoes<br/>fill my head with water</p><p>i am a live wire <br/>sparking and close to burning up<br/>pour water over me <br/>watch me overload</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Highway Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>mother, i can't take it</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>i know, i know<br/>when you said it<br/>you meant it as a joke</p>
<p>but i was young<br/>when you said it<br/>for the first time<br/>not even in highschool<br/>it stuck with me</p>
<p> </p>
<p>i know, i know <br/>that you love me<br/>but your love<br/>does not fit mine<br/>and mine<br/>angers and confuses you</p>
<p>your love<br/>is lined with spikes<br/>and it's a little too cold<br/>like standing outside <br/>in april<br/>with no shoes on</p>
<p>and i am so soft...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>you don't know, you can't know <br/>but my love is warm<br/>sometimes too warm<br/>i love this way<br/>to shake off<br/>the cold<br/>you exude</p>
<p>and i am soft, so soft<br/>and fragile<br/>you know<br/>even though the people<br/>around me<br/>never were</p>
<p> </p>
<p>i know, i know<br/>that you wear your heart<br/>not on your sleeve<br/>or in your chest<br/>or anywhere else</p>
<p>you buried it<br/>miles beneath the ice<br/>of alaska</p>
<p>but i cannot do that<br/>i carry mine in my hands<br/>bloody<br/>with a hole in my chest</p>
<p> </p>
<p>i know, i know<br/>that you meant it<br/>as a joke<br/><em>(i hope<br/>i plead<br/>i beg)</em></p>
<p>but when you told me <br/>you should've abandoned me<br/>on a highway<br/>when i was too young <br/>to know your name<br/>or address...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>you can't know, i didn't tell<br/>but that hole<br/>wasn't always there<br/>and my heart<br/>was on my sleeve<br/>but that day<br/>i think<br/>started the bleeding<br/>the first tear in my chest</p>
<p>i don't know, i don't know<br/>what this one means<br/>but i have a hole in my chest<br/>and my heart in my hands<br/>and my love burns<br/>and my mother<br/>should've left me on that highway</p>
<p> </p>
<p>it comes at night<br/>when the sun shines<br/>when i feel my heart fill with joy</p>
<p>she should've left me on that fucking highway</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Oh Mother Mine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i hope hell makes you suffer until i join you</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this is not only a long one, but also a very personal one.</p><p>to all of you whose parents are not who they are supposed to be:</p><p>this is for you</p><p>trigger warning for emotional abuse and alcoholism</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>mother<br/>
you named me ivy<br/>
because you didn't want me to have nicknames</p><p>so they named me<br/>
based off what they saw</p><p>your neglect made me<br/>
<em>blue whale<br/>
why don't you eat some more?</em></p><p>your absence made me<br/>
<em>idiot, retard,<br/>
can't you read a book right?</em></p><p>you were supposed to be<br/>
my safe haven<br/>
my friend<br/>
my support when everything else failed </p><p>instead<br/>
you became a cryptid<br/>
something everyone but me had<br/>
a fata morgan<br/>
so close, so fake</p><p> </p><p>you and father only argued<br/>
it was because he didn't want me<br/>
you told me that yourself </p><p>so why is it<br/>
that he is a better parent<br/>
than you ever were? </p><p>yes, he can get angry<br/>
so angry<br/>
but the only reason why that scares me<br/>
is because you always<br/>
directed that anger at me </p><p>it was never my fault<br/>
was it<br/>
you just wanted something<br/>
to blow up at<br/>
just like your mother did </p><p> </p><p>instead of growing up<br/>
with a mother<br/>
i grew up with a grandpa<br/>
who was all he could be </p><p>he taught me how to read<br/>
how to count<br/>
he taught me how to twist<br/>
my words into weapons<br/>
what to say and what to hide<br/>
he taught me history<br/>
and english </p><p>he was the support you never were</p><p> </p><p>i have told you<br/>
time and time again<br/>
my grandma doesn't take no for an answer<br/>
she grabs my ass<br/>
and hugs my body</p><p>you said to say no<br/>
to make it clear<br/>
i don't want to be touched<br/>
and when i said it didn't work<br/>
you said<br/>
that's how she shows affection</p><p>no, mother<br/>
you are wrong<br/>
i have seen affection<br/>
and that is not it </p><p>i don't think any of you<br/>
are capable of it </p><p>and i cry<br/>
and fear<br/>
that i will grow up the same<br/>
i think the women<br/>
of our family are cursed</p><p> </p><p>and then<br/>
i was so young<br/>
so small<br/>
<em>i was so young</em><br/>
my grandmother told me<br/>
<em>when he is asleep<br/>
search your grandfathers kitchen<br/>
look through everything<br/>
take out the tiles</em></p><p>and i found them<br/>
oh god i found them<br/>
the bottles</p><p>i was ten<br/>
when i realized<br/>
my grandfather was an alcoholic<br/>
<em>(or was i younger?)</em> </p><p>i think something in me broke that day<br/>
was i fated to be alone?<br/>
to never trust anyone again? </p><p>oh mother<br/>
you named me ivy<br/>
and sometimes i think you did<br/>
because i was a parasite<br/>
i was the poison in your life</p><p> </p><p>there are days<br/>
where you smile with me<br/>
and you laugh with me </p><p>and i cherish those days<br/>
because i know<br/>
they can change faster than lightning </p><p>when i am with friends<br/>
i sometimes throw things at them<br/>
it is simply how i show affections</p><p>and on your good days<br/>
i forget who you are<br/>
what you are </p><p>and when you smile at me<br/>
and say<br/>
<em>if you do that again<br/>
i will hurt you</em><br/>
-there is nothing<br/>
that scares me<br/>
as much as you </p><p> </p><p>am i not made in your image?<br/>
sometimes i feel it<br/>
the anger you leak through your skin<br/>
under my ribcage </p><p>i don't want to be like that<br/>
the monstrosity i see<br/>
in both of my parents </p><p>don't want to destroy<br/>
every relationship<br/>
just because i could not<br/>
control my heritage</p><p> </p><p>oh mother<br/>
you named me ivy<br/>
because you didn't want me to have a nickname<br/>
because i was a parasite<br/>
to everything you built </p><p>but mother<br/>
my whole name is poison ivy<br/>
i am something other<br/>
i am more than you wanted me to be </p><p>i am something that survives when others don't<br/>
i am adaptable<br/>
i am resilient<br/>
i bend, i do not break under your pressure</p><p>don't you know?<br/>
poison ivy<br/>
was named the medicinal plant<br/>
of the year 2010</p><p> </p><p>so yes<br/>
i am poisonous<br/>
i am a parasite<br/>
but </p><p>i am also resilient<br/>
i am adaptable<br/>
i heal what others broke </p><p>so mother<br/>
tell me<br/>
why did you name me ivy? </p><p>that is not my name anymore<br/>
did you know?<br/>
my name is lyra </p><p> </p><p>i am one of the oldest<br/>
musical instruments of mankind<br/>
i am the symbol<br/>
poets and artist work under </p><p>i am freedom to be who<br/>
and what<br/>
you want to be </p><p>you do not deserve<br/>
to speak either of those names </p><p>you tried to make me<br/>
something others fear<br/>
and hate<br/>
so i became unbreakable </p><p>i became something that heals<br/>
i became the freedom<br/>
i never had </p><p> </p><p>mother<br/>
you named me ivy<br/>
so that you could ruin me</p><p>you tried<br/>
i give you that</p><p>but i am poison ivy<br/>
lyra of poets<br/>
and artists</p><p>a friend<br/>
a lover<br/>
and a mother to those<br/>
that need me </p><p> </p><p>
  <em>and you cannot have me</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>you took the pen<br/>and wrote your fate<br/>in thick black marker<br/>onto you own grave</p><p>mother<br/>i will not cry for you</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Of Want</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>there is only so many times<br/>something can be taken away<br/>before you stop wanting<br/>(of bones, part one)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>you have no idea<br/>
you never looked past what you saw<br/>
have you learned nothing?</p><p>look what you have done to me<br/>
I could have been great<br/>
and you tore me apart</p><p>you took everything I loved in life<br/>
I want nothing out of fear<br/>
you dare ask why I have stopped wanting </p><p>there is only a limited amount of times<br/>
something can be taken away<br/>
until it is not wanted anymore </p><p> </p><p>this heart is heavy<br/>
will you not take it?<br/>
it does nothing but hurt</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Bone Deep (It lies beneath your skin)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>heavy is the heart<br/>let me bare the weight<br/>(rainbows, part one; cyan)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>your pain is not bone deep<br/>
it never was</p><p>
  <em>(or was it, once?<br/>
hidden in the crevices of bone?)</em>
</p><p>it lays under your skin<br/>
green, yellow, purple</p><p>branching out like roots<br/>
capillaries of hurt</p><p>every touch torture<br/>
won't you let me help</p><p>I want to soothe every part of you<br/>
until every inch of skin is unharmed </p><p>let me help<br/>
I do not carry it the way you do</p><p>but I will take it<br/>
I will rest it with mine</p><p>until you are ready<br/>
to bear it again</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Hollow (Dust)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>let me start anew<br/>(of bones, part two)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>trigger warning: a bit of gore</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>do you feel the ache in your bones<br/>
are they not hollow</p><p>I want to take a knife to my flesh<br/>
flay it wide open</p><p>see if they are still there<br/>
or if they are but dust holding me</p><p>crushed by the beating of my heart</p><p> </p><p>I have no need for the city<br/>
nor for the woods</p><p>gone are the days of wanting<br/>
I am hollow</p><p>there is nothing but the ache</p><p>it rests there, in the space<br/>
where my bones should be</p><p>I wish for one thing<br/>
I know I cannot have </p><p>let me start anew</p><p>there is nothing here for me<br/>
but dust and aching</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Wildfire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>i will wait for you<br/>(rainbows, part two; orange)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>your mind is always buzzing<br/>thoughts and feelings <em>en masse</em><br/>rest is a foreign concept</p><p>what is it that does it?<br/>what is it that shapes you?<br/>will you let me see?</p><p> </p><p>chaos takes the form of a cat<br/>it follows when it pleases</p><p>i may not be like you are<br/>wild, untamed<br/>but will you let me follow?</p><p>i want to see <br/>see what calamity you will unleash</p><p> </p><p>you really ought to check your eyes<br/>because you cannot see it</p><p>your own power</p><p>just you wait, darling<br/>the day is coming<br/>creeping ever closer</p><p>your shackles will fall</p><p> </p><p><em>calamus gladio fortior</em><br/>the pen is mightier than the sword<br/>yet you wield both with ease</p><p>you always see yourself<br/>in a different way than others</p><p>let me show you what i see<br/>you are magnificent</p><p> </p><p>open your eyes<br/>you are wildfire<br/><em>you will eat them alive</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. 22:22</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>this bed of mime is too big<br/>there's space right beside me<br/>it was made just for you </p>
<p>(of rainbows, part three; red)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>everything is glowing<br/>
but well<br/>
what else should it do?<br/>
cities are bright </p>
<p>the taste of caramel coffee<br/>
ash and metal<br/>
but no lips on mine</p>
<p>i wish i could show you<br/>
this city of mine<br/>
with all its special places</p>
<p>you would fit right in<br/>
with your loud music<br/>
and radiant being </p>
<p>so come over<br/>
would you?<br/>
i want  to show it to you<br/>
this city of mine</p>
<p>
  <em>kiss me</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I miss you like a limb<br/>distance has never hurt so bad</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Tears Of Joy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>heavy is the weight<br/>of carrying the world<br/>upon you shoulders </p><p>(one day he will be free)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>atlas cried<br/>that faithful day<br/>when the greek started dying</p><p><em>soon</em><br/>he said<br/><em>I will be free</em></p><p>he is so tired<br/>his shoulders burn<br/>and his bones ache</p><p>they made him<br/>their words built his body<br/>and stories his suffering</p><p>they cannot comprehend <br/>the weight that he carries <br/>when they speak of him</p><p>how cruel<br/>to speak someone to life<br/>and give them agony</p><p>he is so tired<br/>but soon<br/>he will be free</p><p>(what is a thousand years to someone like him)</p><p>atlas weeps<br/>and from his tears<br/>the universe is made</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Ravenous</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>is there something wrong with me?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>up until now<br/>
i just thought i was broken<br/>
going into relationships<br/>
without loving</p><p>but i just <em>want</em><br/>
i'm just hungry<br/>
no-one ever taught me<br/>
what love is</p><p>i just crave<br/>
the feeling of being wanted<br/>
of being the only one<br/>
of being adored</p><p>what is love<br/>
and what is hunger?<br/>
i love them<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <em>do i?</em>
</p><p>i want to adore them<br/>
make them happy<br/>
or do i want them to stay?<br/>
give them reasons to never leave me?</p><p> </p><p>i'm scared of finding out</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is not the end.<br/>I will write for as long as i breathe. I do hope things will get better. They do, but slow and sometimes not at all.<br/>Change is inevitable. That is not a bad thing though, i think. Some changes will help you grow, some changes will make you want to dissapear forever.<br/>If you ever feel like life is too much, try to write it down. It doesn't have to make sense, it doesn't have to be poetry. Write it down and read it afterwards. What would you say if this was the writing of somebody else? How would you want to help?<br/>Be kind to yourself. You are worth more than you think you are.<br/>Good night, good morning, good evening. I wish you well.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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